Silver Lining Soon

When the so-called 'unerasable' is, finally, totally erasable. Thank you Allah for the strength to delete everything in my mind coz I don't even want to keep those sorrow and grief in my life history. Unworthy people and their story will not be part of my history.

Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun
A new day has come

Hush now, I see the light in the sky,

Oh it's almost blinding me,
A new day has come.

How thankful I am for what I have today! :)

24

It feels so bad when you're at the age of 24 but have no big achivement. No asset. No saving. While some people with the same age like you have done something big in their life. Time to act.

Funny

Today is so funny. Me and my sister went to LCCT to send ayah. His flight was at 9.40 am. We ate breakfast at McD and he didn't forget to give us money. But he forgot to give me my car key. And I forgot to ask and remind him about the key before he boarded. Finally we are here in the bus heading to KL central. So, forget about our plan to go shopping at Nilai 3. KL here we come!

Old Calendar

I just threw my PETRONAS 2013 calendar. Say goodbye to all the things I've noted down on the calendar. Goodbye. Its a new year. Thanks for everything that Allah has prepared me from all the experiences, no matter its a bliss or miseries, for all that, is to make me stronger on facing more challenging years coming in front of me. Terima kasih Ya Allah. Aku berserah.

I took photos of some quotes from the calendar.

Smoothie

Sometimes you plan for something to happen at certain time, but it happened the other way round. I plan to finish this small solar tracker circuit by today but I don't think it will work. By the way, it should works! Whyyyyy?? So the FYP2 first week milestone is not achieved. Anyway I brought all the stuffs out of lab and keep it in my room so I can do this during weekend. Rabbi yassir wa la tuassir Ya Allah Ya Kareem.

Al-Kahfi and chocolate banana smoothie are here for stress relieving :)

Simple recipe for chocolate banana smoothie:

1. Banana

2. Chocolate powder / milo / vico / ovaltine

3. Condense milk / fresh milk

4. Plain original yogurt

5. 3 to 4 cubes of ice

Blend all above. Happy weekend everyone! :D

End of Semester

I have just submitted the final interim report to Turnitin at 11.30 pm and that marks the end of this semester. FYP 1 interim report is the last to be submitted after a suffocating week with no single day without submission or test. The craziest week. The battlefield is not only physically but emotionally, mentally. When Allah wants to test you inside out.

I'm devastated Ya Allah without your help. I'm so devastated. Please Allah, please, don't leave me alone. Please. I'm so weak.

First exam paper start next Thursday. Allahumma yassir wa la tuassir. Rabbi zidni 'ilma.

First week of exam

Second week of exam

Always

These girls

Though I'm not graduating this September, I joined my batch for EE class dinner. Most importantly, me and these girls I have since years ago spent time together, groom ourselves, eat, chat, making fun of each other, laugh like crazy and take photos a lot in that night. I will definitely feel lonely and missing them so much in the next semester :')

Look scary isn't it? :P

We all just want to be happy. So, be happy! Praise to HIM :)

Wordless Wednesday

It's not exactly a Wordless Wednesday. It's a One Word Wednesday. "Alhamdulillah" :)

Pictures' Notes

Alhamdulillah I have just finished my test 2 for DSP subject. I can feel one by one heavy burden released from this head. But remember that all these responsibilities will not end till forever. There will always be task/responsibilities/problem to be solved. As one test has passed, need to get ready to have more serious time on DSP project starting tomorrow. That's the real life, it will come one by one. Before going back to the reality tomorrow, let me fulfill one of my promise to this blog : to keep in touch with this blog, at least write something once in a week. There's nothing so important here, I received some pictures from Ain, and I would like to share few thought of mine. 

1. These are the two pictures of me with my roommate. She is Nur Ain Syafiqah Binti Shamsudin. In UTP, we have been housemate since the beginning, and yes, this is my first time being her roommate. But this is not the first time ever. We had been roommate for a year during our time in Taylor, taking Canadian Pre-University. As much as how I used to love staying in the same room with her in 0912 Casa Subang, that's how I'm in love to stay with her now. She'll be graduating in September, so I still have a chance to stay close to her in this and next semester. This is just so wonderful and I love her :)

2. In the first picture, I drove from UTP to Lumut. We were heading to Pulau Pangkor to attend the wedding of Ain's cousin there. It was a wedding on island! I just knew and realized that it is a bit difficult to take all the hantaran (I'm not sure what do we call this in English) to go to the island as we need to take ferry. Probably to make it possible, the family need to book one private ferry for the whole family and stuffs. Any other way? And the second picture, we were in the ferry :)

3. With the technologies, products, researches and other improvements exist nowadays, you can change the way you look, virtually and literally. For me these two pictures virtually make me look a bit different from the reality. Its is just different virtually. These pictures are taken from Ain's smartphone and she did use one apps to edit. If I'm not mistaken, it is Camera360. Same goes to those instagram and, what else? I don't know as I don't have smartphone, you guys know better. Of course this technologies does not change my face to be a beautiful girl, but it does change how the skin complexion looks. It does not completely disappear but definitely diminished. At first I saw the pictures, I wonder where does my acne scars and so many other flaws go? I have been facing all the flaws in front of the mirror everyday! Maybe we cannot judge everything from a picture, the real thing can be better, or it can be worse.

4. Beautiful is always said to be subjective. Have you ever experience the situation where you find someone you know get more beautiful day by day. The way you look her or him change, its not the same as how you look at her at the first time you saw them. I do believe it is because of the beauty of their characters and so many other things that brought our love to grows toward them. It is not only physical beauty. Let us all try to achieve this ultimate beauty. Be beautiful inside out. Physically, spiritually. The most important things about beauty and love, it's Allah who place it inside us. May He guide us till the end. Ameen :)

Final Year Syndrome

I guess that's how I'm going to call for all the things that happen in my house and happen to all final year student's house, I believe. But what do I mean with that phrase final year syndrome? It is a drastic changes that happen to all final years students. If not all, I dare to say almost all. And maybe, including me. Haha in this thought sharing,  I'm actually laughing and trolling myself, frankly speaking.

1. Final Year Project (FYP)
In this case I'm excluded. All of my friends are taking their FYP 1 for this semester and they are almost crazy about it. When there is a deadline for report or presentation, they will be the zombies who don't sleep and work around the clock. They are freaking nervous when the conversation topic start to change from something else to FYP. Or it is more simply said "you will not complete your FYP without crying".

2. Yes to work, no to study.
There are a lot of my friends who can't tolerate to study things anymore after coming back from internship. They really want to finish as soon as possible. They prefer working environment compared to the pressure of study, assignments, tests, quizzes, projects and exams. Especially to those who already found the joy of being in their field, the job that they are born for, they started counting days to graduation.

3. Beauty and health.
This is the biggest matter as I seen. I'm not sure if this happen to boys, but my friends are all being so obsessed in dieting, skin care, make up, and any product that help them to be better in health and beauty. I'm truly loving and supporting them when they are aware of the importance of health and beauty. They don't go to no-eat-the-whole-day-diet but they go for eat-what-your-body-need diet. They exercise too. You know how hard girls want to initiate an exercise compare to boy. Boys play football a lot. I can see it every evening when I pass the field. Some are also dying to get better skin. Like me. LOL. I'm seriously half-crazy to find a way for better skin complexion. Oily, blemished, scars and dark skin is really a nightmare for me. No matter for what reason we all being like this, I hope that the effort to be healthy and naturally beautiful will last till the end. Remember that we want to be fit and gorgeous not only because of that one main reason rite.

4. Future hubby and future wifey.
The main reason that is commonly said when final year try to fix their physical appearance is because of marriage. Dear all friends, dear all future hubbies, dear all future wives, we all have the same thought, same feeling. As marriage become near, although we might not know exactly when is it, or are we going to have one, we don't want to screw up. We want to be the best and look good to someone we belongs to. But I really impressed with friend who are not only looking physical appearance as the only thing, but they seek a lot of knowledge of developing inner self and building a blessed marriage. Alhamdulillah, now we all are matured women and man. LOL.

Sometimes, I really really really hope that people take my facebook status seriously. I might not be officially and culturally engaged but my heart is engaged and fully occupied since years ago. Occupied with something that does not fade with time, or large spaces. I just want to nod my head and say yes when people pointing the silver ring around my finger and thought I'm married. I don't want you who are asking more. I don't want you who are chasing. I don't want you who offer kindness to much, more than what I need for studies. I just want, and I'm praying that Allah make ease and fasten the right way if what I have felt since almost 4 years ago are right, written up there whether it is belong to me. The feeling of missing something does not come by itself, it comes with the sweet, the bitter, the memories, the tears and the times went through all these test and tribulation. Allah will guide us all. Have faith, people.

Oh ya. We are what we eat, we are what we read. Make sure we eat good, we read good :)

Let's start this one tonight! :D

Gear Up

I remember my last day of internship which I have a good rap up and conclusion from my host company supervisor and my colleagues. And the best conclusion has been made by Mr Ajit. I'm glad that he was in the office on that day, cause its very hard to see those big big bosses to be in their room. From the seven days in a week, probably one day will be spent in the office, and the rest six days, they are all over the world.

As usual, his present will make me a bit nervous, he love to ask engineering-related questions, and he did asked me a very short question on that day, but the answer for that need me to collect everything from my internship experiences. The question "So how do power plant operate?" has opened a long discussion, which supposed to be a short farewell to say goodbye to him. I love and appreciate the time that he spent when he supposed to be doing something else important, his guide and motivation helps me a lot. He is so fatherly and his sincerity to teach can be felt. His last advice was:

"When you are in your workplace, let say you have been in a power plant, you are not a layman. You are an engineer. When you come back to your university, study like an engineer. Study, study, and study, like there's no other businesses in this world."

We can apply what is good for us, leave what is not.

Me and Mr. Ajit

Alhamdulillah I have just finished two tests, got one more test to go for the next week. Midsem break start on this Thursday and I can't believe its already half of the semester. Only half more to go to meet the final exam. By now I should be ready to gear up, gear three and next, gear four. I really hope that I'm doing well for this semester and the next two semester left before I graduate end of this year. If I can do better, this will be the only present that I can give to show my love to mama and ayah, and a good example to my brothers and sister Insyaa Allah.

Narrated by Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

"Oh Allah, nothing is easy except what You made easy and You can make hardship easy if You will."

The Most Forgiving

When Allah has opened the widest chance for us to return to Him, then why shouldn't we do the same to our own self? Let us return to Him who always wait for us, Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. Allah SWT.

(Az-Zumar: 53)

Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." 

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: 

"O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it."

[At-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound.]

Istighfar by Hafiz Hamidun, one of my favourite from his therapy album.

Lets talk tonite!

I woke up this morning and got a present from my daddy. Thank you ayah! So lets smile all day :)

With this RM150 celcom topup, I really want to call some of my friends overseas, coz I rarely had a chance to stay long on the phone with them who are thousand miles away from home Malaysia! Ain in UK, Nabihah in Mesir, Nabila in Australia, Ainur in Canada :D Anyone else?

A Thousand Years - Part 2

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

The Soleh Boy & Bear

This teddy bear belongs to my sister and she gave it to my little brother. Once my sister, Aina said, "Nah, you can have this bear", my brother then said, "I wanna call this teddy Ustaz Azhar!" and he put kopiah on the teddy's head. Hehe so cute :)

And this is how it looks after winning the first place in Maharaja Lawak Mega :P

LOLOLOL my brother. May he be a soleh boy :)

Aidil Adha 1433 H

There's no love without sacrifice.

As-Saaffat: 102 - 109

102. "And when he attained to working with him, he said: O my son! Surely I have seen in a dream that I should sacrifice you; consider then what you see. He said: O my father! do what you are commanded; if Allah please, you will find me of the patient ones."

103 "So when they both submitted and he threw him down upon his forehaed,"

104. "And We called ouT to him saying : O Ibrahim!"

105. "You have indeed shown the truth of the vision; surely thus do We reward the doers of good;"

106. "Most surely this is a manifest trial."

107. "And We ransomed him with a Feat sacrifice.

108. "And we perpetuated (praise) to him among the later generations. 

109. "Peace be on Ibrahim."

Alhamdulillah this year comes to my aunt's and uncle's turn to perform Hajj :) There are some latest pictures taken by them.

Makndak in front of Masjidil Haram

Rainy Day in Mecca

May we all have enough strength to carry on our sacrifices for better life in this world and hereafter. I define my sacrifices, you define your sacrifices.

P/s: Credit to FizGraphic for the very cool cute solehah little girl with the Apple Macbook. I just put the cartoon on a blue background and put some words. 

Pain

When his plan and His plan are different from what I've been keeping for these long, I'm devastated. How do I bear the pain my Lord

Note-To-Self

After a looooong holiday (well, not really long, it's about one week for Raya celebration). Finally I got to come back to work. And I should not forget that my progress report is not yet completed. So much to do after this and may Allah ease everything. Note to self everyday : Be strong for today, stronger for tomorrow.

May we all do the best no matter who we are, where we are. InsyaAllah :)

Dreams, lets be true

Yesterday I saw Productive Muslim was sharing an article from Psychology Today on Productive Muslim twitter page. The title of the article is "Do Your Dreams Die When You Get Older?" and its content has given me a slap on my face. Anyway thank you for your slap, article. 

I do question on myself, "Do Your Dreams Die When You Get Older?" I might need to agree some of the dreams just remain as, "Once upon a time, I want to be this and that." I have read somewhere "Motivation need to be revived, just like how we take a bath every day."

The article shared that, if this situation happened, maybe we have let these three things happened to us:
1. We want it to be easy
2. We watch others failed
3. We started to rationalize

And the remedies the article suggested:
1. Nothing’s easy. Get over yourself. Just deal.
2. Break out of the pack. Be the omega wolf and follow and discover your own path. Who knows, you may surprise yourself!
3. Be tough on yourself. Do not rationalize or make excuses. Make a commitment and follow through. Tell yourself that you wont get anywhere if you don’t – Believe it. 

Love this article as it is short, precise, helpful and practical InsyaAllah.
Psychology Today : Do Your Dreams Die When You Get Older

Well, engineer-to-be.

Few days before, Mr. Ajit, one of the boss in my department, asked me about some basic engineering question. The questions are just simple that I thought engineer-to-be should have those sense, but the fact is, I couldn't answer almost all of his questions. And that is so sad. I should have wrote all those mind-breakers because it will be so nice to share with all. One of the funniest question I could remember clearly now is:

1. "What is the most used instrument in the world?"

I smiled and then he asked the second question,

2. "What is an instrument?"

I smiled again and he answered, "Don't think so complicated. An instrument is just a thing that is used to measure quantity. And the most used instrument in this world is, your watch. It is used to measure time."

Working with him remind me of Mr. Jega, my Circuit Theory lecturer. Their similarities are, they are truly from India, they are very neat in attire, systematic, workaholic, knows everything that exist in the world maybe. And I would say they are both so academician. I do respect people from India.

Just wondering yesterday, today, and maybe tomorrow, how do we measure love? What instrument did my heart used as it dares and truly believe what it feels. Everyday.

Wonder of love and science